Come on baby…back that Bass up

What an interesting sample of blogging inspiration I received from the blogging gods today! This is most certainly 300% more awesome!

First of all, Tom Cruise is a crazy, crazy man.

I don’t know what happened to him. Does getting all up in Katie Holmes make you crazy? I still haven’t seen the Oprah escapade yet…I will be looking for it on YouTube shortly. Anyhow, I just mention him because there is apparently trouble in paradise with TomKat.

This morning I was assigned the duty of creatively making a display about a free fishing trip in BC that my work is auctioning off. I tried looking up bass on google, but as it turns out, I only got pictures of the instrument and some people holding dead fish. I didn’t think it would be so hard to find a stupid picture of a fish! All I wanted was a delicious bass jumping out of the water in a fit of bass joy!!! No go. I finally managed to find a salmon picture that was adequate…but somehow on my search for a fish picture, this came up:

A SQUIRREL IN A CANOE!!! This is pretty much the best thing that anyone could bring someone from a trip.

“How was Banff.”

“Eh, it was okay, but I DID find this SQUIRREL ROWING A CANOE!”

“HOLY SHIT! I LOVE YOU!”

At least, that’s how I think it would go. So this and Ultra Toast’s comment about Damien Hirst got me to wondering about the delightful world of taxidermy!

So I did some research and found that I am reasonably understanding of someone who wants a dead animal in their home, but those people that have like…just an animal’s HEAD? I want to know someone who has one in their home! Seriously!!! I think the collection of animal heads lost appeal back in the 80s, but I’m sure there are still people out there with a variety of stuffed animals in their homes…

Then I got to thinking, just HOW did they preserve Lenin?

Turns out, no one knows. I think it was some magical Communist potion of good times. But what explains those people who die and are just somehow magically preserved? I wonder if people stay fresher longer now that we eat stuff like Cheez Whiz, which is almost a plastic…are we less biodegradable?

I found an exhibition called “Bodies” where the artist actually compiled a ton of dead people and used this plastic method to preserve them in different poses, and even cut up some of the bodies. As I already looked at these photos, and would not like to lose my lunch, go look it up!

Aside from bodies, my fasination grew after I looked up the squirrel rowing the canoe to post it here, and I managed to find out that squirrel fishing is actually popular.

I want to do this! Who wants to come?!

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7 Responses to “Come on baby…back that Bass up”


  1. 1 Blondie May 25, 2006 at 12:25 am

    I totally thought hat guy had some sort of sick squirrel yo-yo toy until I caught on.

  2. 2 Ultra Toast Mosha God May 25, 2006 at 11:49 am

    The man who preserves bodies by ‘plastinating’ them did a series of late night autopsys on TV over here.

    I have them on video.

    Watching a strange Dutchman in a cowboy hat cracking through the ribcage of an 80yr old woman then peeling back the skin like a scab was quite an eye opener.

  3. 3 Ultra Toast Mosha God May 25, 2006 at 11:50 am

    Ps: In answer to your question. Yes. I’ll fetch my rod. And my nuts.

  4. 4 Joe May 25, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    The Lenin preservation mystery can be solved up in two words: Cheez Wiz.

    And I admire Ultra’s courage and commitment to squirrel hunting.

  5. 5 messiah May 25, 2006 at 3:16 pm

    i have a friend who is a taxidermist. most of the animals he does are for people who want to keep them as a trophy. pretty much all male.

    pretty sure that explains it.

    i’m not a big fan of the dead animal statue, or the head on walls, but you do have to admit though, a bear rug is pretty cool.

  6. 6 Doug Murata May 25, 2006 at 9:46 pm

    Eddie Izzard had quite a bit to say about taxidermy. How does one become a taxidermist? Do you just fall into it? “I wanted to be a model, but fate decided that I should be a taxidermist.” No! It’s got to be something you want to do! “I want to be a taxidermist! I want to fill animals with sand! It’s my goal in life to put the entire Gobi desert into a rat!” That and beekeeping. It’s just something you must want to do.

    Of course, what compels people to want a dead animal head mounted on their wall? That I cannot answer.

  7. 7 sandra May 28, 2006 at 4:45 am

    I think that Tom was always crazy. He just had a better publicist.

    As for Katie Holmes, I’m sure her post-partum depression (in which Tom will stockpile their abode with plenty of vitamins) will be more than enough to give her head a shake and send her packing, along with baby Suri, back to New York (or maybe her parents’ place in Toledo)


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