Something like a Comarison

I bought the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album last week and to my awkward surprise, I noticed a song that bellowed the lyrics, “Something like a phenomenon baby, something like a phenomenon…”

Huh?! Isn’t this an LL Cool J song?! What the hell???

Somehow, one of Ladies Love Cool J’s overtly hump-tastic choruses made it into a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song!!! This is an abomination that will not be tolerated!

Let’s take note of the similarities and differences between the two songs. Won’t you come with me on this special adventure?

While LL thrusts out the chorus of:

“Something like a phenomenon [repeat 8X]
(uh huh) (go ahead daddy),”

which, if you didn’t know, LL wrote himself in a brief burst of inspiration, the more musically apt Yeah Yeah Yeahs sing:

” Something like a phenomena, baby
You’re something like a phenomena
Something like a phenomena, baby
You’re gonna get your body off”

I can listen to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs chorus longer because they feel it necessary to only drive home the “something like a phenomena” line three times, while Cool J proceeds to bang out his similar chorus EIGHT times per chorus while singing over girls moaning “uh huh, go ahead daddy.” I didn’t hear any moaning during the Yeah’s rendition, but perhaps some dry humping overtones could be heard if you play it backwards…

While the Yeah’s prefer a more subtle sexual approach by singing, ” She’ll make you sweat in the water,” we suddenly realize INDEED why Ladies Love Cool J when he brags that he’s the “Taster’s choice, have you nice and moist.” Well LL, I’m not going to argue with someone whose lips are as swollen as Chyna’s labia.

The sexual games don’t end there either! The Yeah’s proceed to proclaim that “You’re gonna get your body off” and LL croons that his lady can “Run your mouth though your legs over the bed baby, work me out.” It’s like a pornographic buffet of language over here!

Both songs then take a chilly turn when the Yeah’s sing that ” It’s cold under the blanket,” LL prefers to take it to the bling level with “I give you two, Italian, ice my whole crew.” Shrinkage, Ahoy!

But wait…LL gets real at the end of the song, professing “you’re worth it playgirl, it’s real in the field, say what you want, but keep your lips sealed.” My my Cool J, what a clever double entendre of the word LIPS. You’re so clever.

Maybe I’ll side with LL and “Keep it jinglin, no more minglin.” Wait, I don’t even know what the fuck that means. No, Cool J, I will, in fact, NOT keep it jinglin. What the hell does it mean to jingle circa 1994? Actually, I also love the line “You beefin, yellin on the cell of my 6.” What the hell does that even mean? LL’s all like, “Yo biatch, quit yo beefin and come let me lick your whole body in under 10 seconds with my huge mouth!”

Thanks LL, you’re really a romantic at heart, but I think I’ll stick with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Ah, fuck it. I’m gonna go listen to The Strokes.

28 Responses to “Something like a Comarison”

  1. 1 tjam May 10, 2006 at 6:23 am

    I did indeed laugh out loud!! I’m down wid duh keep it jinglin, no more minglin. LL rocks!

  2. 2 Marina May 11, 2006 at 1:20 am

    Hey Lauren, long time no talk! What are you up tooo…welll u should come on msn more often..luv ya..REEENS

  3. 3 Ultra Toast Mosha God May 11, 2006 at 8:48 am

    I think i might be a little disturbed if I was in bed with a lady and she started moaning ‘go ahead, daddy’.

    Panic would set in at the albeit improbable possibility that this person was related to me.

    Following the appropriate checking procedure, I would probably suggest that she have some kind of extensive counselling for parental abuse before we engaged in any further sexual activity.

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May 2006
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