Archive for March, 2006



A Hair-Raising Tale

I’ve just returned from a job interview. The women in the building were all gorgeous. If I work there during the summer, I shall join the elete rankings of the hottest npro in town. I’ll be spending the summer in sun dresses out at charity golf fundraisers. Sounds like a good time to me! Hopefully I can score this job…

In other news, I need a haircut. I had decided not to return to my previous hairdresser last year after she cut my bangs on a slant so severe that people were asking me if I cut my own hair. Yes, it was bad. I proceeded to see a delightful Japanese man with dreads by the Starbucks I worked at. He was rad, except that when I move, if I went to see him I’d have to drive 45 min, and that’s just rediculous.

I haven’t had a haircut since August. MADNESS! It’s not that I hate my hair as it is, but it’s just not presenting the LMizzle that I know and enjoy. I am currently sporting a Lisa Loeb thing (just for Joe), however, to my dismay someone told me last week that hearing me swear was like hearing an angel belch. I just look really innocent. Now, moving to the mean streets of downtown, I feel I need to up the funk and edge on my noggin about 300%. This requires the work of a super hairdresser.

But who will be my savior?!

I decided to take up the free offer of a consultation at every hairdresser at the biggest mall near by.

Eviline Charles: I get snooty lookes from the male hairdresser. There are at least six hairdresser crowded around one customer. The girl at the counter looks barely legal and there are no consultaitons until 5:45. The time was 2:45.

Diva Hair: I get snooty looks from the counter girl. She drearily says that there are no consults available until 3:30. The time was 2:50.

Some Random Salon: I walk in and immediately walk out when I notice that every hairdresser working had apparently stopped buying clothes in 1993.

Hennessey: I walk in and the counter girl smiles and asks me how I am. I discuss consultations with her and she asks if I would like a male or female hairdresser. It doesn’t matter to me, so I say let the fates decide. There is an appointment slot available at 3:15. The time was 3:00. I book.

I return ten minutes later and am offered licorece. AWESOME! The man I have booked with introduces himself and I forget his name immediately, much to my dismay. He looks like someone I have class with (Irfaan). We talk and he plays with my hair and explains some things he’d like to try. He tells me that if I come back in a few days, he’ll do some research on my face shape and hair texture and we can consult just before the appointment.

He offered to research my hair?!?!! WTF?!?!? TOTALLY SWEET!

I book. I have an appointment Monday to have my hair cut by a dude I was MAJORLY impressed with.

But what to do?!

I enjoy Kat Von D’s hair…

I also enjoy this chick’s hair:

And this chick:

Anyone got any ideas???

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I’m going to a job interview, so hey, look at this till I’m back

You Take Nothin’, Turn it into Somethin’


It was an average weekend of work and sleep!

I’d like to admit that I am a sell-out…I bought Chanel glasses. There goes my tax return! My mom keeps raving how my new glasses are “so much better” than my old ones. Wow lady, tell me what you really think!!! Srsly, it gets tiring hearing that EVERY DAY for the past 4 days. Apparently I looked like a sea hag before?! I dunno…

I saw V for Vendetta this weekend. It’s probably the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. It made me want to blow shit up to classical music.

Some chick checked me out at the hospital this weekend. Must be the new glasses!

Today I was in a home storage store and saw a sweet spinning spice rack. I decided to see how fast I could spin it, and proceeded to launch 8 of the 12 empty spice containers in every direction. I promptly left the store before I could destroy any more storage devices.

I ordered a t-shirt with humping unicorns on it today! GLORIOUS!

That’s all the news for today!

She’s Trying to Kill Me

Damnit, none of my damn funny images are uploading today. Ah well.

It’s been much too long since I’ve posted! I shall begin again with a bang.

I think my mom is trying to kill me. That’s right, there’s something rotten in Denmark, and it’s the food my mom is trying to pack for me!

I got up this morning to do some dishes (because if I do my dishes when my mother is up, she does this “WOW, I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING…SOMEONE GRAB THE CAMERA!!!” Har har, that never made me WANT to do dishes, and….IT STILL DOESN’T!!!

Anyhow, she took it upon herself to pack some of my glasses up for me…a nice gesture it would seem.

BUT NO!

I looked into the box, just to take a peek, and sitting in the box were old bags of Starbucks coffee and chai that had expired in 2004! WHERE THE SHIT DID THESE EVEN COME FROM?! I kept digging and found a jar of almond butter (sort of like panut butter, only less interesting) that at one point I had thrown out…that my mother had resurrected from the trash, PUT BACK IN THE CUPBOARD and then proceeded to PACK IT WITH MY GLASSES! GROSS! Promptly, I threw everything out.

Then as luck would have it (as it always does), my mom came into the kitchen.

“Whoa lady, you packed a bunch of expired food into my box!”

“Well why is there expired food in the cupboard?”

(*here’s where I think but do not say, “Because you have so much useless crap in there, how would we even know??!”)

I continue by retorting, “You packed a jar of almond butter I had thrown in the garbage!”

“No I didn’t.”

oh for pete’s sake….

Anyhow, she proceeded to explain to her husband as I walked away that I had, for so many years, been keeping useless food in the cupboard taking up valuable space for other expired food products….

What the crap?!?!

It only takes a mom to make moving out stressful.

LESSON LEARNED: Try to keep pretty much everyone else from helping you pack. They will poison you.

Just another reason why Jake Gyllenhaal rules so hard!

Thanks to Steve R for this!

Baby Orchestras are Fun


Man, I am so doing this instead of reading two chapters for my Leadership class and re-writing my resume for a work-term, AND reading an awful book on Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and why they are so socially responsible.

Life is sweet that way sometimes.

I oficially have four weeks left of my schooling. My concern is at an all-time low.

I just want to listen to music and decorate my pretty new apartment and sit on a porch swing in the sun and read. Sadly, I am not in my apartment yet, I have packed up my music (thank goodness for my laptop!) and I have yet to even be able to purchase a porch swing as it is still below zero here and everything is covered in snow.

Life really gets in the way of my plans!

It’s Cookie Time!


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