Archive for March 6th, 2006

Vancouver: Last Day (and my 200th post!)

You know what’s so rad? Getting up at noon. I meant to get up at 7:45am, and I managed to shut off my alarm moments after it went off.

Anyhow, let me document my last day since I don’t feel like showering just yet (not showering yet only helps me remember what this day felt like).

On this day, I was not hung over, but it seemed like everyone else was! We were rudely awoken by the turds in Mike’s back yeard building a deck in February! A DECK IN FEBRUARY?!?!?! This city is awesome. Anyhow, the sound of nails being slammed into wood and saws was enough to get me up. I waddle to the bathroom with a mountain of posessions in hand, ready for the shower of my life.

But it was not to be.

I set everything down ready to go. I look on the edge of the tub and notice my shampoo. It has sushi stuck to it. Steve has barfed on my shampoo! BLAAAAAAAAH! I decide that I don’t want to shower in a tub whose last occupant was the ocean’s sea creatures, so I wash my hair and get the tits outta there.

I don’t think anyone showered that day come to think of it…

Mike suggested that the perfect breakfast for this occasion was “black aspirin,” which I didn’t know was McDonald’s. I pretty much felt like a slug at this point. There was this sick film all over me, and I had developed the infamous “Vancouver smell.” A little bit ocean, a little bit nature, a little bit of crack and pee!

After black apsirin, we were off to take care of some last minute shopping. This was made extra difficult because of the intense effin’ wind that was blowing up a storm! If I could stab wind, I would.

We made an effort to combine our last two main touristy things to see, Chinatown and Commercial Drive.

Chinatown is HUGE. Chinatown also ends on one end around, you guessed it, East Hastings! It was at this intersection where Mike paid me back some money I loaned him to move out there. I noticed just around the time that I was taking money out of my wallet that this was probbably the largest cash transaction I’ve done, and it happened to be taking place right at one of the worst intersections in Canada. I’m so silly!

I was a little dissapointed in Chinatown, I must say. Pretty much all they had for sale was food. I want to buy stuff that isn’t food! Sadly, we only had time to hit the main street of Chinatown, which was already twice the size of the Chinatown where I live.

We spent another half hour or so on Hastings, trying to get to Commercial Drive. I’m not sure how we ended up spending the most time on Hastings, but I’m sure at this point that three greasy twentysomethings fit right in. We saw a box of doughnuts thrown on the ledge of a huge bridge that was left uneaten.

“Man, those must have been really bad doughnuts if a bum won’t even eat ’em!”

Finally we made it to Commercial Drive, which is what Mike likes to call, “the Hippy district.”

It amazes me how every area of Vancouver is so unique from the other. It’s like 40 different cities smushed into one!

After walking and shopping, it was time for hangover gilato! We were somewhat “gilato blocked” by an 18 year old who was babysitting like 20 kids under ten. The server looked like he wanted to run away as each child repeatedly asked for a sample of one of the 40 flavors of gilato. I don’t know how this chick was even willing to take that many kids out for a treat! I think if I were her I would have had to have brought my old friend, Stabby McKnife to keep the little devils in line.

Notice our hangover faces!

After gilato, it was sadly time to get back to Mike’s. We stopped at a sweet little Mexican store on the way, where a woman tried to sell me Che and Frida shirts for cheap cheap!

Back at Mikes, we sat and recalled all the embarassing shit we’d done as we waited for the cab to pick us up. Needless to say, there was a lot to recall!

The cab came quickly (sure, like the only time a cab is fast!) and we had to say goodbye. Goodbye’s are the shits. I always get teary…argh!

We were at the airport in no time, and just like clockwork, we noticed that our flight had been delayed for an hour because it was blasting snow in cowtown! NOoOOOooOOOoooooOOOoOO! Steve and I sat and watched the Olympics, ate some peanuts, and I enjoyed a delicious ginger ale. Just what the doctor ordered!

As the plane took off, we waved goodbye to Mike.

I yelled, “Love is a four letter word spelt M-I-K-E!!!!!!” because I thought he’d enjoy that if he could have heard it.

Steve yelled, “I wish I knew how to quit you Mike!!!!”

A glorious end to a glorious vacation.

I miss my best bud!

March 2006
262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.