Archive for December, 2005

Bustin’ out some Xmas Cheer

Despite my tired nature currently (I got up at 4am this morning for work!), I am in a really good mood. Maybe it’s the season, maybe it’s getting to see old friends again, maybe it’s the delicious cheese I ate yesterday…who knows. All I know is, I am in a lovely, sleepy, happy daze.

I did, however, see a man absolutely FREAK OUT in the emergency room today. Part of me thought, well…hospital ERs are notoriously slow and handling patients, so just calm the crap down; another part of me felt sorry for this man and the fact that he had to wait so long to be seen. I’ll never know why he was there, or how long he was really waiting. Maybe he was an ass, or maybe he was at his most human.

My mom and step-dad are leaving on Xmas eve to go spend Xmas with my step-dad’s family. They asked when I’d open my gifts (in a tone denoting a deep concern for my Christmas well-being).

“Uhhh, I dunno, it doesn’t matter really, I’ll get to them eventually.”

When really,

I’m going to bust open the gifts at my first opportunity!


Are You Ready to SOFT RAWK?!

Because I sure was today at work. Today the annual “pizza party” occured. This is the time of year when all the money made from all of us collectively drinking a shitload of Ginger Ale (because, we happen to have easy access to ginger ale) goes to pay for a pizza party. As I sat down to work, a feast of cheese, crackers, meat, cupcakes, cookies, chips, and every snack under the sun was put upon my workspace. I squealed with delight as I ate all the cheese. I freaking love cheese.
The pizza was brought later in the afternoon and my boss graciously ordered me a veggie pizza, of which I only saw 2 slices (out of maybe 7 pizzas strewn with various sprinkles of meat). I sat down to enjoy my pizza when I notice that I am the only person under 35 at this party. I work with a handful of men who are 35-50, and then another handful who are over 60. Two women (one of which I have never seen) came to enjoy some pizza delight. They were also over 35. I just stayed at my desk to avoid giving any of the senior citizens (those 60+ dudes) a heart attack with my sweet dance moves.
One guy (who I had always assumed to be a homosexual) came over after the party and said, “Hey beautiful, may I sit next to you?”
Awwww. It was sweet until I realized that he needed the computer and was just flattering me enough to be able to check his email.

Carnation Instant Bitch for Breakfast

I just got home from meeting my good pal Dusan for coffee. As I was waiting earlier in the evening, I sat down at a table next to two girls about my age. I opened my book and began reading. No sooner was I delighted by my book did I catch a few, faint words out of their conversation.

“Blah blah blah, Steve, blah blah, HMV Chinook, blah blah, so weird!”

No way could they possibly be ranting about MY Steve?!

“Blah blah, yeah he was ENGAGED and I talked to him in November, and then he wasn’t, blah blah.”


I was now eavesdropping on a conversation between two girls talking about what a dick MY boyfriend was. Who are these girls? WTF?

I wanted so badly to turn around and introduce myself as Steve’s girlfriend, and former fiance, but I am not really one to make a scene, so I let them talk on. They eventually got up and left. One of the girls stupidly complained about Steve calling her by her full name: CHRYSTAL GREEN. AHA! I have your name.

So what did I do with this valuable tidbit of information?

I took out a 3 week ad in FFWD (a local newspaper) for free:

To Chrystal Green of MRC: I’d watch your mouth when speaking ill of Steve from Chinook HMV and his relationship with his fiance/girlfriend. She was sitting right behind you in Starbucks and heard the whole thing.

I’m not one to make threats, but I am one to make people feel like stupid douchebags when they act like it. Anyone in my hometown, check your FFWD’s next week!


As I was putting away supplies the other day at work, something caught my ear. Something tickled the inside of my eardrum and coaxed it to attention. There was a short plane ticket sale at WestJet, and the sale was on a ticket I needed to buy. I quickly remembered this the next day as I travelled the great, wide space we call the internet. I check and YES INDEED the sale has been sent from the Gods, for I was in need of a return trip to Vancouver over the reading break next semester, and jolly times the sale was for exactly THAT. I bought a trip to Vancouver for half price!

After years of yearning, I will finally get to go to the Big V. For a long time friends have told me that I will fall in love with Vancouver, and now I will go on an adventure/quest to see if they are right. This city boasts one of the largest Chinatown’s in North America, second only to San Fransisco (which I have been to!).
Let me rejoice at how excited I am to be going on a vacation!
Okay, I’m sure some of you who read this are going to say, “Hey dudesky, I have been to Vancouver like 100 times. It’s okay.”

To you I say, “Shove it.”

This will also be only the third time I will have been on a plane. Airplanes aren’t my favorite thing in the world, but a half hour of travel in the air is a small price to pay for an awesome adventure to see my awesome pal, Xrayeagle, and the sweet city he lives in!

Mystery Magnetism

It began as any normal day does: not wanting to get up at the ring of the morning alarm. I rose early to assist my boyfriend in tackling his mother’s Christmas tree assembly. Somehow this household had avoided spackling their house with decorations until today. I arrived to a frustrated and grinchy Steve. His aunt had packed the tree wrong and one of the branches had snapped clear off the tree. We applied garland and lights with approximately 50% enthusiasm to the festive sounds of Cold Case (a real-life murder show) as it spoke of holiday delights such as being stabbed over 50 times by a family friend.
I braved the mall again in an attempt to stake-out some pre-Boxing Day delights. As soon as I enter the mall I am glared at because I have somehow set off the alarm in a bookstore simply by entering. I really ought to have said something clever to the crowd of people looking my way like, “My boyfriend was a real steal!” but alas I was more embarassed that I couldn’t find the source of my alarm-enducing attire. I walk through the exit of the bookstore to enter the mall, again causing a mass salute of alarms to blare at my exit. I stop and discuss with a security guard about what I could be wearing that would trigger alarms.
“Sometimes it’s your cell phone. Do you haev one?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“That’s probably what it is.”

So I head to HMV to let Steve get to work and to figure out the source of my troubles. He takes my jacket off and rubs it over the security sensor to remove any magnetic field from my beloved winter coat.

“That ought to do it. It could be your pants. Sit on the counter.”
“Sit on the counter. It might be your pants.”
“No way, I’m gonna look like a jackass!”
“Okay, have it your way.”

I eventually saunter out still trying to Sherlock my way to a solution. I wander the mall in a panic, figuring I will set of sensors wherever I go. I make it through a few stores without a problem. I get to The Gap and BLING BLING, I have somehow become magnetic again. I discuss with the sales clerk that my coat is from the Gap and that there might be a sensor still in the jacket. I take it off for him to examine.

“Hm…no sensor. It could be your cell phone.”

I leave, but not without warning a sales clerk that I am going to set off the sensor due to my mystery magnetism.

I purchase a sweet purse and leave the mall through an alternate exit so as not to gain more glares. I decide I will try another mall to look for potential Boxing Day deals. As I arrive at the next mall I decide to switch purses and leave my cell phone in the car. Thinking my problems were clearly over I happily wander the mall. No sooner do I believe my problems are over, I set off a sensor in Shoppers Drug Mart. FANTASTIC. I am still wearing something that mall sensors despise. I decide I must give up and exit the mall before I have to explain with a blush to anyone else that I am, in fact, NOT stealing, I am simply trying to purchase a hair brush.

I still don’t know what’s setting off the sensors! This is indeed a Scooby Doo mystery!

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Something Wicked-Awesome This Way Comes…

Man, life when you’re sick is about as interesting as going to the bathroom. Okay, sometimes going to the bathroom can be an adventure depending on the circumstances…but still.
The most exciting part of the past few days?


I was thinking about all the books last night as I spent the greater portion of my shift reading and realized that I have changed a great deal throughout my reading of the series. I think when I started the books I was 17. I was working at Blockbuster Video, and dating a really big moron. To tally it up, I have had four jobs, dated seven different guys (holy CRAP, I just counted that), and five years has past. It’s bizarre to think that the Lmizzle who reads the 6th book is not the same person who read the first book.

Anyhow, the books are sweet, and I’m almost done this one! There’s nothing quite like escaping to Hogwarts for a few hours. I’ll be sad when I am done the last book.

December 2005
« Nov   Jan »
25262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.