Are You Ready to SOFT RAWK?!

Because I sure was today at work. Today the annual “pizza party” occured. This is the time of year when all the money made from all of us collectively drinking a shitload of Ginger Ale (because, we happen to have easy access to ginger ale) goes to pay for a pizza party. As I sat down to work, a feast of cheese, crackers, meat, cupcakes, cookies, chips, and every snack under the sun was put upon my workspace. I squealed with delight as I ate all the cheese. I freaking love cheese.
The pizza was brought later in the afternoon and my boss graciously ordered me a veggie pizza, of which I only saw 2 slices (out of maybe 7 pizzas strewn with various sprinkles of meat). I sat down to enjoy my pizza when I notice that I am the only person under 35 at this party. I work with a handful of men who are 35-50, and then another handful who are over 60. Two women (one of which I have never seen) came to enjoy some pizza delight. They were also over 35. I just stayed at my desk to avoid giving any of the senior citizens (those 60+ dudes) a heart attack with my sweet dance moves.
One guy (who I had always assumed to be a homosexual) came over after the party and said, “Hey beautiful, may I sit next to you?”
Awwww. It was sweet until I realized that he needed the computer and was just flattering me enough to be able to check his email.