Archive for December 19th, 2005

Mystery Magnetism

It began as any normal day does: not wanting to get up at the ring of the morning alarm. I rose early to assist my boyfriend in tackling his mother’s Christmas tree assembly. Somehow this household had avoided spackling their house with decorations until today. I arrived to a frustrated and grinchy Steve. His aunt had packed the tree wrong and one of the branches had snapped clear off the tree. We applied garland and lights with approximately 50% enthusiasm to the festive sounds of Cold Case (a real-life murder show) as it spoke of holiday delights such as being stabbed over 50 times by a family friend.
I braved the mall again in an attempt to stake-out some pre-Boxing Day delights. As soon as I enter the mall I am glared at because I have somehow set off the alarm in a bookstore simply by entering. I really ought to have said something clever to the crowd of people looking my way like, “My boyfriend was a real steal!” but alas I was more embarassed that I couldn’t find the source of my alarm-enducing attire. I walk through the exit of the bookstore to enter the mall, again causing a mass salute of alarms to blare at my exit. I stop and discuss with a security guard about what I could be wearing that would trigger alarms.
“Sometimes it’s your cell phone. Do you haev one?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“That’s probably what it is.”

So I head to HMV to let Steve get to work and to figure out the source of my troubles. He takes my jacket off and rubs it over the security sensor to remove any magnetic field from my beloved winter coat.

“That ought to do it. It could be your pants. Sit on the counter.”
“Sit on the counter. It might be your pants.”
“No way, I’m gonna look like a jackass!”
“Okay, have it your way.”

I eventually saunter out still trying to Sherlock my way to a solution. I wander the mall in a panic, figuring I will set of sensors wherever I go. I make it through a few stores without a problem. I get to The Gap and BLING BLING, I have somehow become magnetic again. I discuss with the sales clerk that my coat is from the Gap and that there might be a sensor still in the jacket. I take it off for him to examine.

“Hm…no sensor. It could be your cell phone.”

I leave, but not without warning a sales clerk that I am going to set off the sensor due to my mystery magnetism.

I purchase a sweet purse and leave the mall through an alternate exit so as not to gain more glares. I decide I will try another mall to look for potential Boxing Day deals. As I arrive at the next mall I decide to switch purses and leave my cell phone in the car. Thinking my problems were clearly over I happily wander the mall. No sooner do I believe my problems are over, I set off a sensor in Shoppers Drug Mart. FANTASTIC. I am still wearing something that mall sensors despise. I decide I must give up and exit the mall before I have to explain with a blush to anyone else that I am, in fact, NOT stealing, I am simply trying to purchase a hair brush.

I still don’t know what’s setting off the sensors! This is indeed a Scooby Doo mystery!

Happy Birthday Sarah!

December 2005
25262728293031 collective fashion consciousness.