Tiptoe through the Timbits, with me

I decided to try what I thought would be a delicious cinnamon bun from Tim Horton’s this morning. Instead of being delighted with a flavorful moist mouthful of pastry, my tastebuds were shocked to find a bun made out of doughnut with tasteless icing slathered on top. I knew I should have gone for the chocolate dipped…
Two more weeks of class, which means that I only have four more months of class! I see the light at the end of the trecherous academic tunnel! I am rather apathetic again today…I think it’s because although I have a few things I need to do, I can’t do most of them until professors email me back, etc. At least I got some stuff done yesterday.

Yesterday was a good day. It was an alone day. I got up at an ungodly hour to heat down to Starbucks for a free beverage. I delighted in ordering a gingerbread latte since I haven’t had the pleasure in a year. As I sat down with my craptastically-whipped beverage, I wondered, “Is this going to taste as shitty as it looks?” The answer was a resounding YES. I think someone put out a stale cigarette in my drink because on my firt sip I think I saw smoke come out of my mouth. I’d have to say that the worst thing about not working for Starbucks anymore is that I have absolutely no control over the quality of drink I get! I used to be a master of delicious creations! My white mochas were to die for! My caramel macchiattos were a sexual experience! Now the customers of the location I used to work at are constantly subjected to beverages that taste closer to ash than comfort! I don’t care if the damn drink was free, it was still crappy!

Aside from having to grab an ashtray for my drink, it was really nice to study somewhere different. I got a lot of stuff done. I like those days. It makes me feel like I have purpose. I then proceeded to put on my battle gear and head to Chinook Mall to battle royale with other shoppers. Crowds at Christmas usually make me homocidal. This year, not so much! I enjoyed my relaxed state as I slipped between strollers and seniors. I felt like I was playing a real version of Frogger, but it still didn’t break my spirit! My trip was a semi-success in that I decided “to hell with this” and bought my step-dad who pretty much has no interests except Nascar and sitting down with no pants an illustrated edition of The DaVinci Code. My mother was no help on suggesting what to get him. Seriously, he uses nothing I get him. Year after year I must continue on my conquest to buy something so enchanting he’ll actually take it out of the celophane and USE IT. The ghosts of my hand-picked Christmas Past have included such delights as a collection of U2 cds, The Golfers Worst Case Scenario Book, a Nascar Racing game for his computer, Star Wars on DVD, Seinfeld Seasons 1 and 2, and a money clip. Not one was used.

So, in the spirit of Christmas I said “fuck this!” and bought him something I think that he SHOULD use, but if he doesn’t I’ll just keep it.
I was successful in buying both my sister and neice things as well. I have only a few more gift missions to complete and I’m done!

While looking for festive photos to add to this particular post, I looked up the name, Rudolph, and this is what I got. I suppose it combines both my festive Christmas spirit and the sailor-like filthy spirit of my imagination. All in all I think it really gets the point across.

When I was home from my misadventures I decided to give my old PS2 game, Fatal Frame a shot. This game has always scared the shit out of me. Yes, some people have made fun of my for playing it, and to them I say a festive, “eat shit!” It’s a game about a girl who has to find her missing brother in a haunted Japanese mansion. It’s sweet, AND it’s based on a true story, which is even more awesomesauce. Anyhow, I decided to start the game over since I got stuck on a level like 3 years ago. I maybe played 8 minutes before I got too creeped out to continue.

It was a good day.

3 Responses to “Tiptoe through the Timbits, with me”


  1. 1 lana November 28, 2005 at 5:24 pm

    I soooo agree, I used to have an orgasm every time I had one of your drinks hehe jks jks…I absolutely hate Starbucks, I don’t go there anymore I choose to support small family owned coffee shops, it makes me feel so much better than supporting some huge ass,greedy corporation.

    P.S. Christmas drinks were always gross I thought. The first time I had a gingerbread latte I threw up. I am serious. Anyways all I gotta say is fuck Starbucks!πŸ™‚

  2. 2 Deidre November 28, 2005 at 6:49 pm

    I love Frogger!

  3. 3 Ultra Toast Mosha God November 29, 2005 at 12:09 pm

    That reindeer is possibly the most disturbing thing I have seen.


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