"Hi! I’m….UNAVAILABLE."


What is it with dudes at the hospital and looking at me like I look like this chick?! Have they never seen a woman before? I have never felt so oggled in my life as I did today and I was wearing effin’ scrubs! WTF?! Yesterday some dude came into the area I work in and was like, “Yeah, my buddy told me to tell the ‘cute girl’ he says hi.” I told him to go get the product he wanted himself. Then today this loser was back with the dude who apparently has a total boner for me. They walked by my desk like 15 times and kept looking in. YEAH. I’M IN HERE. I WORK HERE. Then the loser was like, “Hey, there’s that cute girl again, workin’ hard…” Then the tard that likes me brought me a cookie. Then he introduced himself to me and I tried to walk away but he stuck out his damn hand for a handshake. I should have spit in his hand…I think he would have gotten the point then. Then two porters were all google-eyed at me when they’d have to talk to me. They’re all smiles and, “I’ll see you later…” and walk away like they are the shit. GUESS WHAT?! Any loser who tries to pick up a chick at a hospital, let alone, WHILE HE IS WORKING, is a sleaze-bag. Enough said. I have a rather delightful boyfriend that I love very much, so unless you are my boyfriend in an ugly costume, I suggest you bark up someone else’s tree.

The skanks hang out at Cowboy’s my good men, not working at a hospital trying to do some good in the world.

13 Responses to “"Hi! I’m….UNAVAILABLE."”


  1. 1 Ultra Toast Mosha God November 7, 2005 at 9:35 am

    Bask in the attention of the retards.

    Perhaps they will make you their queen.

    A girl I used to work with used her charms to cajole a cadburys creme egg from a sleazy salesman every day for about three months.

    He got so desperate for her attentions that he offered her £200 to sleep with him.

    She laughed in his face.

    He kept buying her eggs.

    Idiot

  2. 2 Squiggle November 7, 2005 at 10:31 am

    UTMG … But that would then make her “Queen of the retards”, which isn’t a very affectionate title.

    As for yout office workers … That is sooooooo wrong.

  3. 3 Joe November 7, 2005 at 3:00 pm

    Hmmm…do you happen to have that chick’s phone number?

    People are idiots.

    But to Ultra’s point, I appear to be their king.

  4. 4 Ultra Toast Mosha God November 7, 2005 at 3:31 pm

    Squiggle, everyone know that you are made a monarch upon the basis of your intelligence, not your bloodline or anything like that!

    I’m enjoying this hole i’m digging for myself…

  5. 5 LMizzle November 7, 2005 at 4:24 pm

    Awww damnit, can’t I be the queen of something totally sweet instead?!

  6. 6 Doug Murata November 7, 2005 at 7:27 pm

    Great mother of all that’s holy, Ultra! The guy actually offered to pay her for sex? Good for her for laughing at him.

    Lmizzle, start sweet talking the guy. Then tell him you’d think it would be really hot if he kissed his friend. See what happens!

  7. 7 Dave November 7, 2005 at 9:40 pm

    Excuse me LmaC. But I was not hitting on you when I told you that some old patient dude wanted to give me a blowjob!

  8. 8 tjam November 8, 2005 at 4:36 am

    I’m with dog murata. I’d love to see the yucky man kiss!!

  9. 9 LMizzle November 8, 2005 at 5:48 am

    Ok, I say that Dave is not a scammer, I am talking about the fact that single dudes who try to pick up chicks while at work are LAME.

  10. 10 Joe November 8, 2005 at 4:05 pm

    I hereby dub you the queen of something totally sweet. Take your choice of any of the following:

    Sugar
    Honey
    Chocolate
    Cake
    Assorted hard candies

  11. 11 LMizzle November 8, 2005 at 6:48 pm

    Wait wait, I want to be the queen of PIE!

    Pecan pie if I have a choice.

  12. 12 Squiggle November 10, 2005 at 12:12 pm

    All hail … LMizzle … Queen of Pie!

    ~bows~

  13. 13 Xrayeagle November 13, 2005 at 9:21 pm

    That’s always the best line by the way “tell the girl I like that I am afraid of her. oh, and that she is cute.”


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