Published November 30, 2005
The world is so fucked up. Here I sit in a crowded coffee shop, secretly listening to a couple on the verge of breaking up, and on the other side of them, another couple on a first date. They are both painful conversations to listen to. The break-up couple is speaking of 13 years together and not listening to one another, the other couple speaks in giggles and nonsense.
“You are TELLING me how I feel and what I am doing wrong. You aren’t listening to me!”
“Yes I am, but you aren’t listening to me!”
“What’s your favorite milkshake?!”
This makes the world seem like quite an unusual place.
In another strange turn of events, I was just approached by two people asking if they could sit at my table with me. Now I literally trapped in a corner, closed in by the couple that are on a date, and three other people who are now sitting at my table having a casual conversation. The strangest thing is that the guy who asked me if these people could sit with me came back to the table in the middle of ordering and said, “Since we are joining your table, would you like anything?”
Whaaaaa? How strange and yet genuinely nice at the same time…
Published November 30, 2005
Seriously, what the EFF is with today?! I awoke to a glorious layer of snow outside, to which I thought, “eff you winter, I am driving!” So I babysat for a few hours and watched Spongebob Squarepants a few times and I was back on the road.
I was probably 20 minutes away (in GOOD traffic) from downtown where I intended on interviewing a board member of a theatre organization for a project. I ended up showing up to the loaction 45 minutes late and with only 18 minutes in my parking meter. She had left, which means I had just wasted an hour for nothing. I then decided “eff this” again and decided to drive about 20 blocks to Kensington for a coffee. For those of you who wouldn’t know, Kensington is still downtown. It took me another God knows how long amount of time to get to this damn coffee shop. In total, I have been in my vehicle stuck in traffic for 2 hours. Hours of my life I will never get back! (sob sob).
I saw an ENORMOUS car accident, like 5 police cars, 4 fire trucks, and 2 ambulances.
And a number of pissed off and cold people.
I intend to sit here and boycott the snow for another few hours so I’m not sitting in my car for another 2 hours. Screw you winter!
Published November 29, 2005
Today was not such a nice day. It was a day for umbrellas and quiet. It was a day for the heavens to cry for the loss of Autumn. It was a loss of balance. It was a day of sadness, regret, and confusion that I only hope will be worth something in the end. I’m just not sure where the end is.
This was a day of choosing not to fight the memories I wish I had forgotten. Today was a day of yearning for something better. I was cast gently into the cold. The night has so far been unkind to me.
Today isn’t the end of the world, nor is it a step on the path to lightness…it’s just a day.
So let me think of other things, things that make me happy, like the discovery of a wonderful artist…
whose paintings make me feel like everything is going to be okay.
Published November 28, 2005
I decided to try what I thought would be a delicious cinnamon bun from Tim Horton’s this morning. Instead of being delighted with a flavorful moist mouthful of pastry, my tastebuds were shocked to find a bun made out of doughnut with tasteless icing slathered on top. I knew I should have gone for the chocolate dipped…
Two more weeks of class, which means that I only have four more months of class! I see the light at the end of the trecherous academic tunnel! I am rather apathetic again today…I think it’s because although I have a few things I need to do, I can’t do most of them until professors email me back, etc. At least I got some stuff done yesterday.
Yesterday was a good day. It was an alone day. I got up at an ungodly hour to heat down to Starbucks for a free beverage. I delighted in ordering a gingerbread latte since I haven’t had the pleasure in a year. As I sat down with my craptastically-whipped beverage, I wondered, “Is this going to taste as shitty as it looks?” The answer was a resounding YES. I think someone put out a stale cigarette in my drink because on my firt sip I think I saw smoke come out of my mouth. I’d have to say that the worst thing about not working for Starbucks anymore is that I have absolutely no control over the quality of drink I get! I used to be a master of delicious creations! My white mochas were to die for! My caramel macchiattos were a sexual experience! Now the customers of the location I used to work at are constantly subjected to beverages that taste closer to ash than comfort! I don’t care if the damn drink was free, it was still crappy!
Aside from having to grab an ashtray for my drink, it was really nice to study somewhere different. I got a lot of stuff done. I like those days. It makes me feel like I have purpose. I then proceeded to put on my battle gear and head to Chinook Mall to battle royale with other shoppers. Crowds at Christmas usually make me homocidal. This year, not so much! I enjoyed my relaxed state as I slipped between strollers and seniors. I felt like I was playing a real version of Frogger, but it still didn’t break my spirit! My trip was a semi-success in that I decided “to hell with this” and bought my step-dad who pretty much has no interests except Nascar and sitting down with no pants an illustrated edition of The DaVinci Code. My mother was no help on suggesting what to get him. Seriously, he uses nothing I get him. Year after year I must continue on my conquest to buy something so enchanting he’ll actually take it out of the celophane and USE IT. The ghosts of my hand-picked Christmas Past have included such delights as a collection of U2 cds, The Golfers Worst Case Scenario Book, a Nascar Racing game for his computer, Star Wars on DVD, Seinfeld Seasons 1 and 2, and a money clip. Not one was used.
So, in the spirit of Christmas I said “fuck this!” and bought him something I think that he SHOULD use, but if he doesn’t I’ll just keep it.
I was successful in buying both my sister and neice things as well. I have only a few more gift missions to complete and I’m done!
While looking for festive photos to add to this particular post, I looked up the name, Rudolph, and this is what I got. I suppose it combines both my festive Christmas spirit and the sailor-like filthy spirit of my imagination. All in all I think it really gets the point across.
When I was home from my misadventures I decided to give my old PS2 game, Fatal Frame a shot. This game has always scared the shit out of me. Yes, some people have made fun of my for playing it, and to them I say a festive, “eat shit!” It’s a game about a girl who has to find her missing brother in a haunted Japanese mansion. It’s sweet, AND it’s based on a true story, which is even more awesomesauce. Anyhow, I decided to start the game over since I got stuck on a level like 3 years ago. I maybe played 8 minutes before I got too creeped out to continue.
It was a good day.
Published November 27, 2005
I am so excited about Memoirs of a Geisha that I could probably pee. Anyhow, aside from my bladder control problem, I have heard that a variety of people want to see this movie. I am going to see it on the evening of Friday, December 9th, probably at Chinook Centre. I just wanted to know if there was anyone else out there who is free to see the movie that evening? I know Steve R. is in, and that my sister is interested, but does anyone else want to come with us? Oh yes, Siewke and her husband are also going, so hopefully we can all go together, but regardless, if anyone is interested in coming out on December 9th to see it, leave me a comment and I’ll include you in the plans! Okami, I know you’re going as well, but are you going on the 9th?
Anyhoos, I dunno if Steve V. wants to go or if T-Jam wants to come as well, but I am for sure going on the 9th! Let me know if you are interested!
Published November 25, 2005
Published November 24, 2005
I realized today at 1pm that I actually hadn’t eaten anything yet today…how lame. I noticed this when I became particularly irritable and tired for no real reason. How did I solve my dehydration and hunger? With WENDY’S! Okay, probably not my best of choices, but I needed a quick food fix, and frankly, McDonald’s really grosses me out.
You know, for a really busy next few weeks coming up, I am really apathetic to the whole semester. I’m getting papers back and I’m not looking at the grades, I’m presenting with only a few days of work on projects…I think it’s about time I was done this degree. After going to this school for 5 years, I’m pretty much done with nonprofit. I’m ready to try something else.
I do have a month of time off to look forward to this semester because I have no finals! I’m gonna try and make some mad cash to pay off my car.
So, as we can all see by my post, I pretty much have nothing interesting to say. I feel sort of funny today, which I am so far equating to the severe lack of food I’ve ingested today. I’m not even sure I’ve eaten a vegetable…
Aside from my boring existence as of late, I’d like to complain that I can’t find the effing gift that I want to get Mike for Christmas ANYWHERE. Of course, I can’t say what the gift is on here (can’t ruin the surprise), but I CAN say that this item, in theory, should be fairly easy to get. This has indeed not been the case. I am stuck going from store to store trying to ask anyone I can if they’ve seen the item I’m looking for. Nothing. Seriously, what the crap?!
So, anyone got any good ideas on how I can raise my energy level?! I’m freakin’ dying over here!